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It was early morning before the sunrise,
Before the dissipation of the darkness and with it the quiet peace
And reflection that reigned supreme
Over the earth, and as the birds were starting to wake,
Their lazy chirps waiting to greet the dawn,
          I was still watching,

Watching the stars glimmer and hide behind the stark white clouds
Against the backdrop of the night sky
Thinking how extraordinary the world moved through its cycles of birth,
And life, and death,
And how each mechanism
Whether it be physical, spiritual, or emotional

In a continuous figure eight,
Stretching out to infinity and coming back to meet itself once again,
A never ending pattern of extraordinary occurrences,
Seeming random at times, but serving some great purpose
Unknown to the players involved in the journey
–   With only glimpses of synchronicity and serendipity to assure them
That reality existed under the pretense of
          Stability and order,

That the great plan of the universe would unfold
Like the thousand petal lotus that blooms in the summer heat,
Its flushed petals radiating peaceful waves of creation
          As it awakens, –

Thinking that if their prayers were fervent enough,
They would witness the mysteries and miracles of the world
Reflected around them through the rays of the glorious Sun,

And while the morning didn’t wait for me
To finish my contemplations
I had one simple but striking moment,
Suspended in the thralls of time,
Before the busy city streets filled with people who would
Scatter across the pavement,
Some thought, desire, or need propelling them forward into their
          Self-proclaimed futures.

– Anastasiya Maslova



Just a little piece I thought would be fun to post. It’s an exercise writing a short story all in questions, assuming that there is someone answering them. How would you guys answer these questions?

What is life? Do you think we come from darkness and end in darkness and the life we lead in between is the only light? Don’t you think that beyond this illusion we call reality there is a place that we go back to and call home? What is home? Is it a place or a feeling? Does it depend on the time spent there or the people who wait for you by the window? Does it carry memories from your childhood, or simply hold the things you once loved? Do you think you can recreate your life in a new place? Why not?

Are you afraid of change? Don’t you think that change is what moves us forward? Isn’t it a natural part of this earthly experience? We age every day, don’t we? Is there really such a difference between drastic change and one that is so subtle you don’t notice until years later? You would rather not notice? But isn’t it the point of life to notice the things around you? To enjoy and cherish them? To evolve your perspective and your understanding of the universe around you? We both know that perspective comes from experience right? So are your experiences static? Do you believe that no matter what you do, your life will continue on a straight trajectory? Do you think the years you have in this life are your only ones?

Is there a true end? Or is this just one of the many lives you will have? Will you not find peace and content throughout this journey? What will make you happy? Is it the things you buy? Or the things you give? Or the things you know? Does your knowledge come from abstract ideas or the details in your life? How can you truly ever know if this is all there is? Doesn’t logic deem that life is not the only light, but there is a beyond? Do you wonder? Do you ask the universe? What if she answers?

Today, I want to talk about discernment. Here are some definitions:

Webster: “the quality of being able to grasp and comprehend what is obscure”

Oxford: “the ability to judge well”

Synonyms: wisdom, insight, perception, acuity

Many people talk about using” discernment” when you talk to others, or read blogs/articles/books, or when you watch the media. So there you are, reading this book at the age of 22 and it tells you: “This is how the world works.” Is it a reputable source? I don’t know. What if it’s my father’s own book? Do I question the man who brought me into this world and has the experience and “facts” to back it up? What if it’s written by a man who won the Nobel Prize three times! Does that make him right? Are his word then the epitome of truth?

I want to point out  that I do not want to delve deep into the philosophy of TRUTH. Yes, there are possibilities that there is no truth, that truth can only be subjective, that there is only inner truth for each individual, or maybe, MAYBE, there is a universal truth out there that humans just can’t comprehend. All those, and more, are possibilities for which the arguments can be extensive and persuasive.

What I want to focus on is what to do when we are faced with an idea – voiced or written – and must come to a conclusion on whether we should change our views to fit this new form, or to dismiss the person as 1) crazy 2) complete pathological liar 3) attention whore 4) religious freak 5) uneducated or just plain stupid… etc.

None of us actually know things. People make mistakes. Yes, some quantitative stuff like 2×2=4 can be “discerned” as being true. But our science theories? The theory of Newton, the theory of Darwin, the theory of Einstein….. the theory of God?… they’re theories! And human beings are so quick to pick up those theories and built a whole society on them! To me personally, the existence of God is irrefutable. I KNOW he exists. I feel it as a universal truth in ever cell in my body. I feel him, I understand my connection to him. It is a TRUTH. Yet I know that others feel just as strongly about the idea of us evolving from monkeys…. So is one of us wrong? Are both of us right? Are we disillusioned by our beliefs? By our cultures? And how do we move from that delusion to some form of enlightenment?

Our opinions change as new information is discovered every day, every second. My girlfriend just told me yesterday “That’s not what you thought a month ago.” Well, of course not! I’ve grown, had experiences, was introduced to new forms of though. And I adapted my view according to what… resonated with me?

What exactly does that mean? How do we know what resonates with us in the huge ocean of ideas and opinions and facts? How do we know it feels true? How do we know that one day we won’t be having a conversation with some intellect or PhD at a party and he’ll look at us like we have three heads and say “What? How could you be so dense? Here are the facts, the studies: blah blah blah.” And all of a sudden we think to ourselves about how we lived in this crazy world that should be reserved for children, and look, there’s all the data to prove us wrong. We were either lied to, or were lying to ourselves.

Resonance and discernment seem like this invisible force… like the electricity that travels from the light switch to the light bulb, except the light bulb is the (also) invisible “aha!” moment inside our brain. “Aha! That makes perfect sense!” and “Aha! I knew it worked like that all along!” Sometimes though, I feel like that “aha!” moment is just a little sliver of light coming from a flashlight in the middle of a sunny day. It’s there. It’s a little brighter than its surroundings because it’s more concentrated… but you can’t really see it… my metaphor is getting long, but the point is, that sometimes we don’t really know if we’re discerning anything correctly. We may watch the news and our government tells us that something is going on overseas and shows us videos of protests, and talk to journalists in the field. Does that mean that it’s actually happening the way they say? (Even if we’re not all conspiracy theorists) What about the sensation of Wikileaks? Here is one man telling the rest of the world that he has access to super-secret government papers. Do those resonate with you? When people talk about the crazy experiences that they go through, do you believe them?

So how do you know?

Here is a lesson:

1. Love unconditionally

2. Love unconditionally

3. Love unconditionally

4. Love unconditionally

5. Love unconditionally

6. Love unconditionally

7. Love unconditionally

8. Love unconditionally

9. Love unconditionally

10. Love unconditionally

… x10

Check out this wonderful book:

Today I am thinking about kindness. How do we as the human race view it? Is it letting someone cut the line in front of you when they’re late for work? Or donating money to a popular and positively influential Christian radio station? Is it picking up $40 of off someone’s porch and simply sliding the money into their mail slot? Or giving up your seat to an old woman on the bus?

My father has always said, kindness is never (or rarely) returned with kindness while evil is always returned three-fold. (I don’t mean karma) So it’s logical to avoid evil deeds in fear that it will come back to haunt you.  But then is there any incentive for us to be kind if we get nothing in return?

Isn’t the amazing thing about pure kindness is that it is unconditional? To show kindness just for the sake of doing it can be liberating… even magical. It should make us feel good, and for most of us it does – but that is a condition in itself. So is unconditional kindness then reserved for God only, who does everything unconditionally? Or can people truly and fully embrace love and give it back to the world…. just because?

I know we can!

I first heard the following song on KLove Radio. It’s so uplifting and lighthearted and funny, but also carries a deep message. Life should be kind and lighthearted and we have to remember not to focus on the little things that upset us in daily life. I try to remember this song every time I’m stuck in traffic or someone cuts me off. (Instead of honking or shaking my fist at the other person.) I take a deep breath and remember that I must be learning something from this if God has sent it my way. We are all beings of light – souls – and we can choose to live in kindness and love for others.

The song reminds me that there are things much bigger than me. We all have a purpose and remembering the big picture when the annoying details get in the way is extremely important.

I believe this awareness starts with kindness.



And it’s relative because… well, we humans created it. We took a perfectly well structured universe that has continued on for billions of years using its own special order for certain events and decided that we’d rather deal with the tedious minute to minute things instead of the big picture of life. Then we became obsessed with our version of time.

We deem people inadequate if they show up to a job interview at 2:01 instead of 1:55. Judge those who wake up at noon and go to bed at 3:00am. Impose weekly and monthly deadlines on artists and writers whose muses sit in shock while their pupils throw away their dreams for short-lived pop-culture sensations. Students rush to finish their Bachelor’s degrees in 3, sometimes even 2 years, cramming for exams and choosing a 4.0 GPA over sleep.

What is 2 years in the sense of the world? Our small planet revolves twice around a lone star in one of the infinite amount of galaxies across the universe. Yet we focus all our attention on the 24 hours we’ve allocated to each day. When did 21 become synonymous with “old” and “midlife crisis” became mandatory to get through your 40’s? When did our desire to meet deadlines trump our desire to relax and enjoy life?

With the knowledge and technology we have today living to 100 isn’t just a possibility, it’s pretty much a guarantee. Of course there are things we choose to do to shorten our life – smoke, drink, tan – but for every one of them we have cures – diets, rehab programs, doctors… Still, I find many people dreaming about how they’ll die in their 50’s after the kids are off to college and they’ve collected their early retirement money. Where are we all rushing too?

This is the way I’ve always seen it, yet still sometimes forget as the whirlwind of our society engulfs me: We are given this one life to live in our physical body. (Whether you believe in reincarnation or not, no life is the same either way) We are all born to look different, given different parents, homes, cultures… different minds. No human being is the same as another. No one thinks the same or acts the same. We’re all on this path to grow our souls and understand a little bit more about God and the wonderful world he has created. It’s long and somewhat difficult, but we have enough time to make our mistakes, to learn from them, and to move beyond the mundane material things; beyond the time restraints that we have created for ourselves.

So this is where Day 4 of my self-induced rehab has brought me. At 21, being able to out-drink most girls and even some guy-friends twice my size every night of the week doesn’t make me an alcoholic. Trying most mainstream drugs at least twice, or eight times – weed, coke, boomers, X, acid, even K – doesn’t make me a drug addict. Surviving a whole semester of school on adderral with a B average and no sleep hasn’t made me crazy. (At least not more crazy than I already was.)

Yet since I’ve had my mini-nervous breakdown, dropped out of classes for the rest of summer (with every intention to come back for the fall semester), and decided to sober up cold-turkey, the world has once again become an open book. It’s slowed down drastically. My dreams are more vivid than they’ve ever been and you know dreams tell a lot about life. They show you what you truly want, help you make important decisions, alleviate your fears and sometimes create new ones. And the philosophical, spiritual, big picture outlook on life has come back while disgusting cigarette smoking habits fell away. The future looks bright with the light of wisdom and joy, and really that’s what all of us are looking for when we get lost in the labyrinth of illusions which our cultural poisons leads us into.

There’s this wonderful person that I recently got to know on a very intimate and spiritual level. He told me that I was the most intriguing person he’s ever met. He thinks I’m insightful and open minded and weird. He told me I speak of things that others are afraid to even think about. That I see the world the way he does and that I realize how much more there is to life while the masses run from job to job, bar to bar, watching God’s wonders pass them by.

I’m always told I that I can’t take a compliment, and true to my nature I’m incapable of accepting this one. I know what I am and I know what I’m not and I know that there are dozens of people like me out there: those who think about the same things I do. Some know more, some know less. The longer I am on this path, the more of them I meet, my friend not being my first or last.

So here comes the part I’ve been dreading all day. They say that to write a blog, you should choose what you’re most passionate about; the topic you understand the best. Some say that the best way to start a blog is to pick a project and record its progress daily while strangers read about your struggles and successes. I can’t really pin point what my material passion is and definitely can’t think of anything I’m exceptionally good at. I love reading, writing, discovering. I love philosophy and spirituality. Sometimes I love watching the news and sometimes I hate it. I don’t know much about car engines or tech gadgets or celebrity gossip or cooking recipes. I major in business, but that doesn’t make me an expert.

I love talking about what I’ve learned though, and love giving people advice. I love showing my friends or even just random strangers life from a different, sometimes bizarre, perspective. I love hearing other people’s views. See where they’ve been in life and where they are now. I like to help people. Sometimes I lead people to fix their life. Sometimes I fail and they walk away barely remembering my name. This new friend of mine has finally pushed me to stop and think – why can’t my obscure opinions and outlooks be used by others. Maybe I can inspire someone I’ve never met. Maybe someone out here in the world wide web will find my crazy disorganized train of thought useful. He has.

– Ms. CleverClocks

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Hi, I’m Anastasiya


I'm so glad that you've stumbled upon (pun intended) my little blog-slice of heaven. I hope you stay a while and discover the ideas and beliefs I hold close to my heart. (we might have the same ones!)

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In Love and Light

July 2018
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